Let’s kick the bucket list before we bite the dust.

Leap out of an aeroplane, swim with sharks, get arrested, and join the Mile High Club. These sound more like the antics of an off-the-rails rock star than they do a common list of things to do before you die.  But the hotdog, foolish and downright bizarre feats are part of a growing compendium of ‘things to do’ – a fad which has quickly become a popular pastime, but one that needs to stop.

It’s 2012 now and we have our new year’s resolutions clear in our minds; to eat better, to exercise more and quit those nasty habits. Resolutions for the New Year are fine. Living your life like a tenants ‘damage to property’ tick list is just plain silly.

With all the big talk of the Mayan apocalypse and the last year of our existence, I, like many-a-moron, wasted £7.99 on ‘101 Things to Do Before You Die’. A self-proclaimed definitive guide to everything you should do before you start pushing up the daisies.

To complete everything that is mentioned in the list, you will need an estimated  £10m, one-hundred years under your belt and have to be an author, stalker, sports fanatic, millionaire, pilot and philanthropist rolled into one.

Silm pickings! and who has a spare £10m floating about anyway? I for one do not. And think its author, Richard Horne is sitting on a mountain of cash generated from addle-pates dimwits and dingbats buying this hogwash is a different matter entirely.

I have no intention to ‘Be a Human Guinea Pig’ (thing 21). I can barely touch my own feet so to ‘Study the Karma Sutra and Put Theory into Practice’ (thing 18) is way beyond me. But for me what ossifies the truly bizarre craze of bucket lists is Thing 17, ‘Own a Pointless Collection’. I guess that’s one which I can have ticked off. It’s a pointless book, a pointless craze and a pointless appliance of our time.

Oscar Rousseau

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