“We have something you really have to see. And touch.” Surprisingly this is not the words from a couple of bearded men with glasses and a sack of Haribo hanging from the window of a Volvo estate outside your kid’s school. This was the message journalists received from emerging techno-tyrant Apple inviting them to a launch event of the rumoured iPad 3 on the 2nd of March.
As with the past trends of Apple’s persistent nature in re-releasing its products of global market dominance, we can assume the iPad 3 to be quicker, slimmer, lighter and sleeker, more expensive than the last but most probably a carbon copy of its previous two models. Albeit missing some kind of Plato-esque philosophical driven speech from Steve Jobs at the launch for the Apple diehards to dribble over.
However, I should hold my premature tongue more respectively in light of rumours that the iPad 3 will in fact have a quad core processor at its helm, giving such improved picture resolution that you can see the sun majestically glisten off the crown of Jobs’ bald head.
Despite my pessimism toward Apple and the iPad I will take my hat off and regrettably bow down for a brief (very) moment in acknowledging the fact that it is a ground breaking piece of technology. But where is the fun in incorporating every one of our technological hobbies and loves into one plain rectangular block of bad taste.
I was and still am a big fan of the iPod, the catalyst which spawned Apple’s next generation of gadgetry. The iPod had purpose, it was fresh, slick and like nothing on the market. But like the iPad, it was subsequently re-released every few seconds into a different model: more space, less space, lighter, brighter, faster, ones without screens, ones with screens you can touch, ones that grow legs and perform a rendition of Pavarotti’s ‘Nessum Dorma’ if you pray east to it on a Tuesday night.
Too many. Too soon. Too much.
Where here from Apple? Now their creative orchestrating heartbeat Steve Jobs is no longer with us they are going to have to cross off abolishing world poverty and solving global nuclear disarmament. But we can expect a continuing flourish in revamping the same old models, spinning a flurry of miracle PR in making sure the same niche of tools will buy them year in, year out.
I have something Apple would like to see and touch, but I’m keeping it firmly in my back pocket.