Who’s teaching your children?

Photo by Marine Connan

So in the last week, the new head of Ofsted, Sir Michael Wilshaw, has said: “All teachers should be qualified”. What an absolutely preposterous suggestion! You mean to say that, as citizens of this great nation, our children should be taught by professional people who have gone through the necessary rigmarole to be let loose in our schools? How dare we expect that from our education system. And while we’re at it – why stop there?

Let’s round up our homeless and get them working in our hospitals. It’ll get them off the streets and straight into promising careers. Youth unemployment is rife at the moment so let’s get them piloting our aeroplanes. Heathrow might even get its third runway so we could do with a few more pilots. I heard overcrowding in jails is a problem too – especially since the rioting last summer. Why don’t we just convert the miscreants to our side by giving them a uniform and a gun? They’re bound to see sense and start making our streets safer instead of causing the trouble. And lastly, with the Easter holidays coming up, young children will need something to keep them occupied. Maybe they can try writing for a Sunday tabloid – I hear there are vacancies at The Sun.

You may have sensed my slight sarcastic undertones – although that last suggestion might not be such a bad idea. Call me naive, but I always assumed that teachers were either qualified or training alongside someone qualified? It seems though that any old sod can do it. Is it any wonder then that the UK’s position in the international league tables has slipped?

So despite sounding incredibly obvious, Mr Wilshaw seems to have hit the nail on the head. Problem solved. I’m sure it comes as a welcome suggestion to all the fully trained, out-of-work teachers who struggle to get a job. Not to mention the ones who have jobs and have worked extremely hard to get there.

So until then – if you’re passing by your child’s school, you might want to pop your head around the classroom door. Just to make sure one of the dinner ladies isn’t also teaching maths.

Matthew Burgess

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Filed under Education, Opinion

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