Who ate all the pies?

Photo by the Great British Chefs Team

In case you didn’t see it noted on your calendars, today marks the start of British Pie Week. What a load of cobblers. It sounds to me like a marketing campaign dreamt up by pie manufacturers to boost sales. It’s like Valentine’s Day for the pie industry, but a week long and instead of buying roses we feel compelled to buy a Ginsters.

Don’t get me wrong though – I love pie. I mean there are so many options: steak pie, chicken and mushroom pie, shepherd’s pie, fish pie, a pork pie, meat and potato pie. And you can even have them for desert: apple pie, blueberry pie, custard pie, pumpkin pie, lemon meringue pie, or maybe a bit of banofee – all whilst watching American Pie maybe? It gets a bit weird though when people take it too far and create something called: venison and double chocolate stout pie, or purple passion concord grape pie. I mean seriously? Some people just need to get out more.

Also, I thought there was an obesity epidemic – we shouldn’t be encouraging the rounder ones amongst us to waffle as much pastry down their throats as they possibly can. Although granted, “Salad Week” doesn’t have the same buzz. And I’m sure the cunning celebrity chefs will jump on the bandwagon and flog a few trillion copies of a pie-themed recipe book – all in the name of this wondrous celebration of course. Jamie, if you use this idea I want 20% commission.

So while the nation goes pie-crazy over the next seven days, I’m going to try and avoid this farcical excuse of a week. And if, by some outlandish reason I get caught up in the commotion – I will take my humble pie and eat it.

Matthew Burgess


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